In her first book, The Choice: Embrace the Possible (2017), Dr. Edith Eger recounted the major events of her life, framed by her experiences as a teenaged survivor of the Auschwitz and Mauthausen concentration camps during the Second World War. She shared the many steps of her own recovery and healing, and then described her work as a therapist helping others who have experienced significant trauma in their lives.
Dr. Edie (as she is known) has followed The Choice with The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life (2020), a compassionate, potentially transformative book that draws heavily upon her experiences and those of her patients to offer guidance on recovering from trauma. Here’s a description of the book from her website:
Eger explains that the worst prison she experienced is not the prison that Nazis put her in but the one she created for herself, the prison within her own mind. She describes the twelve most pervasive imprisoning beliefs she has known—including fear, grief, anger, secrets, stress, guilt, shame, and avoidance—and the tools she has discovered to deal with these universal challenges. Accompanied by stories from Eger’s own life and the lives of her patients each chapter includes thought-provoking questions and takeaways….
Choice therapy
Dr. Edie describes her therapeutic approach as “choice therapy, as freedom is fundamentally about choice.” She identifies four core psychological perspectives that inform her eclectic method:
Positive psychology, i.e., moving from “learned helplessness” to “learned optimism”;
Cognitive-behavioral therapy, i.e., “the understanding that our thoughts create our feelings and behavior”;
Unconditional self-love, i.e., moving away from the “misconception that we can’t be loved and genuine”; and,
Understanding “that our worst experiences can be our best teachers,” contributing to “healing, fulfillment, and freedom.”
On victimhood
Dr. Edie’s first lesson is the big one, leaving the “prison of victimhood.” Among her observations:
“Suffering is universal. But victimhood is optional.”
“Many of us stay in a prison of victimhood because, subconsciously, it feels safer.”
“Why did this happen to me? Well, why not you?”
“This is the first tool for moving out of victimhood: approach whatever is happening with a gentle embrace. It doesn’t mean you have to like what’s happening. But when you stop fighting and resisting, you have more energy and imagination at the ready to figure out ‘What now?’ To move forward instead of nowhere.”
Targets of workplace bullying and mobbing
For many reasons, I recommend The Gift to those who are struggling to recover from bullying and mobbing at work, especially when the abuse has resulted in major harm to well-being and livelihood. Dr. Edie has a unique voice that blends compassion and, when necessary, tough love, and both qualities can be helpful in helping folks to recover and renew from work abuse. For those trying to get “unstuck” and out of a place of rumination, this is a very good start.
Below I’ve linked to several relevant earlier articles, including two about Dr. Edie, whom I had the distinct privilege of meeting at a conference back in 2017.
Related Posts
Life lessons from Dr. Edith Eger, Auschwitz survivor (2018) (link here)
The Holocaust is a key to understanding interpersonal abuse and systems that enable it (2018) (link here)
Dr. Edith Eger’s “The Choice”: On trauma and healing (2017) (link here)
Helping workplace bullying targets get beyond rumination (2015) (link here)